Food Poisoning Fun

I will never eat pork and coriander dumplings that are on sale from my local Asian Grocery store again. Two days of food poisoning followed by a head cold is not my cup of green tea.

Happiness is a lie

You think I’m happy all the time

But I’m just holding it all in

You think I’m happy all the time

But I’m just sitting here and killing time

My life’s been golden enough

Even when I was doing it tough

I never had to sleep it rough

I never asked for more than enough

You think I’m happy all the time

But there've been times I didn’t have a dime

Still, I never had to sleep it rough

I never asked for more than enough

It’s not that I’m not happy all the time

It’s just that I’ve had a fair share of

sadness in my time

It’s not that I’m arguing the point

But you seem to think I’m happy all the time

And that’s just not the way it is

The way it is with me

You think I’m happy all the time

Still, that’s just not the way it is

The way it is with me.

Then the phone rang.

The phone rang. I didn’t recognize the number so I almost didn’t pick it up. But I’d had a job interview that morning so I thought, what the hey!

“Hello? Lucy speaking.”

“Hello there”.

Quick pause for lightening bolt to travel down my spine - holy crap it was my ex, Daniel. Damn him for always getting a reaction out of me. I answered cautiously.

“Hello Daniel”.

“Hey, you recognized my voice.”

“So I did, not like last time.”

He had called about six months ago with a new number and made me guess. I hadn’t been expecting it, as he hadn’t called me for a year and a half before that; so I didn’t clue into who he was, for a while. Eventually the penny had dropped.

“What time?”

Bastard, I knew he’d put me on the spot.

“Ah, just some time I didn’t recognize you voice, ages ago.” I trailed off awkwardly.

“Sooo, I’m holidaying on the Sunshine Coast with some friends and I was wondering if you still know anyone here?”

Random, where was this going?

“Um, no, not really; most of my friends have moved away and the rest I don’t talk to anymore, mainly because they are still there. Why?”

“Well I was wondering if you have any, connections.” Daniel paused.

Ah, the penny dropped – again. He wanted drugs.

“I don’t really know anyone like that, well, maybe Julie. But she lives on the Gold Coast now, so probably not” I rolled my eyes.

“Hmmm, the Gold Coast, that’s a bit far away.”

“Well if you’re that keen.”

“Surely she must still know people here right?” he said persuasively. God he had a sexy voice, just dripping with suave confidence. “Come on, we’re friends aren’t we?”

“Yeah, friends”, I snickered sarcastically, “Great friends”.

His voice dropped – and became blunt and annoyed – as he dropped all pretenses.

“Ok, well, great to talk to you. See you around and all”.

“Yeah, sure.” I said flatly.

“Talk later, bye!” Daniel hung up.

Bastard, I was almost tempted to call Julie, but wasn’t about to degrade myself that far. I threw my phone down. All of a sudden I had an idea and my face lit up in a wide smirk. About two years ago a friend of mine had given me this number called “My Fake”. If someone you didn’t like asked for your number and you couldn’t get rid of them, you handed it out. When the unfortunate person called the number, they would go straight to a rejection line voicemail and a young guy’s voice saying,

“Hi you’ve contacted the rejection line. The person who gave you this number never wants to see you again. We’d like to take this opportunity to officially reject you. Please feel free to leave a voice mail, or alternatively, you can send a picture message to this number. Happy New Year!”

Then a different male voice saying, “Sorry this message box is already full”

I laughed, evilly; this was going to be fun. I picked up the phone and looked for the number, then wrote it down and tried it out to make sure it still worked. It did, perfect. I sent Daniel an sms:

“Julie – 041_______, have fun.

Immediately he sent one back

“Thanks! Did you warn her I would call?”

I smirked

“Go right ahead”

My phone beeped and I grabbed it

“You’re a champ, D"

You don’t know the half of it, I thought, almost apoplectic with laughter.

I went to the kitchen to make myself tea. I had been sitting too long at the computer listening to music and talking on msn, I needed warming up. My nervous system was shot after the call with Daniel. I filled up the kettle and gazed out the window, it was starting to get dark earlier, I thought absentmindedly. Suddenly my phone beeped again. I lunged for it with glee.

It was Daniel.

“Ice cold.”

I burst out laughing. Oh my God, hilarious. I wasn’t sure if he’d actually call the number. He completely fell for it! So. Funny. I sat back down at the computer, a stupid smirk on my face. Abruptly my phone rang; not surprisingly I didn’t know the number, yet again.

I answered with trepidation, “Hello?”

A male voice, a rather sexy one, spoke into my ear. I could hear in his voice that he was trying to suppress his laughter.

“Hi, you don’t know me; I’m James, Daniel’s brother. I just called to say that was absolutely brilliant!”

He started to laugh and I heard Daniel’s voice hollering something in the background.

“That’ll learn him”, I said dryly.

“Really, that was fantastic. He’s still laughing. We all are. You’ve had us rolling on the floor for the last five minutes!”

I grinned. “Glad to be of service. I’ve had that number for so long and I’ve never had a chance to use it. Sorry, I couldn’t resist.” I was wicked with delight. I knew Daniel’s wry sense of humour.

James chortled, “Seriously, don’t be sorry. It was too good. He had no idea at all! Fantastic, you totally got him.”

“Glad to be of service,” I replied. “About Julie, I would, but…”

James cut me off, “Don’t worry about it, seriously, you given us plenty. We’ll be laughing about this for the rest of the night. Great to talk to you though”

“You too”, I smiled.

And hung up.

General musings ...

Life would be better if my hair wasn't so high maintenance.

Self Improvement 101

When I was 18 I thought: I’m annoying, I’m shy, and I think I know everything. I have got to change. So I moved myself out of my comfort zone, moved out of home, and made new friends. I stopped listening to my parents, and I didn’t let narcissism and fear hold me back.

The idea was to work on developing my personality, typically the hardest thing to change about you, by watching what I did and didn’t like about other people and recognizing what I did and didn’t like within myself. I suppose I was modeling myself on characteristics of people I admired or thought were laid back and “cool”. I thought it would only take a few years, but here I am at 26, no longer modeling myself on others (especially just because I think they’re cool), but still trying to control and acknowledge my bad points and irradiate or improve on them.

What I didn’t realize at 18, and what I am only just beginning to realize now, is that self improvement isn’t a liner progression, it’s a lifelong struggle. But, I think I’m up to it. I think I had already achieved something when, at 18, I realized that I’m not faultless.

And thank god for that. How else would I learn?

The contact lense nightmare and resurgence in blogging interest

I nearly poked my eye out today while attempting to take contact lenses out for the first time. I pinched my eye several times, and after half an hour of stress and whimpering I had to get my kind flatmate to help me take the left contact out.

It was a nightmare, and I ended up looking like I'd been crying all day. I'm very scared of putting them back in again, but I have to master this, or how am I going to get along, blind, in Europe?

I called my dear mum and she said it took her four brands to get it right. That's a worry - this is my second brand already. My eye still hurts, but I'm going to make this work.

I am considering making this blog about something more than poetry ... maybe about my struggles with improving my writing. I've always been a "sprinter" in life, and this seems to be reflected in my writing. I never finish anything unless it can be done in one or two sittings.

If I just write whatever I feel like writing on here, then it might work. Poetry, prose, dialogue, my thoughts ... I might have to change the blog title.

I saw the movie Julie and Julia today, and I think that's what's sparked this resurgence of blogging interest. Fingers crossed my sprint turns in to a marathon run.

See ya later alligator
xxo

is contemplating emerald green and russet red

I want to croon, into the microphone, like it’s nobody’s business but yours.
Money isn’t real
Nothing can bring me down now, you’ve already brought out the big guns, is that all you’ve got?
You’ve already shown your hand, where do we go from here?
Nothing can bring me down, solid as a pound
Before you get excited, it won’t last long.
Before you take a look, I must warn you – illusions can be dangerous, to your state of mind.
Before you take a picture – remember how I feel.
Before you pluck that flower, remember the busy bee.
Before you wink at me, think how I might react.
Before, you pause, jump in.
Jump. Sometimes that’s the only thing you can do,
For unconventional smiles and silly feelings of giddiness and love.
Before the eleventh hour, take stock. It may be your last chance to fly in amber skies and swim through moving oceans.
And live.